The Prick’s disdain for the current Labor government is, by now, pretty well established. But what I hadn’t quite realised until Wayne Swan handed down his latest (and perhaps last) budget is how much the feeling is mutual. It’s not enough that anyone who’s not a methadone-addicted single mother with three kids by four different fathers living on the wrong side of the tracks in Penrith is now considered a wealthy up-himself bastard from the big end of town who needs to be made to pay his fair share. No, it’s worse: The bastards are taxing bacon. Specifically, they’re more than doubling something called the “pig slaughter levy” (because, of course, you shouldn’t be allowed to kill a pig without the government taking a cut).
Put simply, this means that we will all now pay more for our beloved pork products just to save Wayne Swan’s surplus-promising bacon.
Other victims of this year’s no-fun nanny budget: smokers, drinkers, and travellers. Tobacco lovers will now only be allowed to bring in a measly two packs of cigarettes duty free when they return from overseas, a move that the government, in a touching fit of naievete, believes will save the state $660 million per year in otherwise lost tax revenue.
And before you can say, “first they came for the smokers, and I said nothing, for I never indulge in tobacco beyond the occasional Montecristo #2”, they’ve also rejiggered the “Wine Equalisation Tax”, which presumably means we will now pay even more for Australian wine at home than our friends do overseas.
More tomorrow. For now, I’m off to figure out how I can put my kids’ “education bonus” towards a bulk bacon buy that will lay in supplies until a Coalition restoration. Oh, what’s that? Of course. I don’t get the bonus. Because they figure that at my rate of pay, I am presumably not dumb enough to vote this mob in again.
UPDATE: A tax or not a tax? Interesting discussion in comments. Everything else I write stands, especially the bit about the PM’s mindless class warfare:
As the rhetoric of class war raged yesterday after a federal budget that redistributed wealth down the income ladder, the Prime Minister responded to Mr Abbott’s criticism of the government’s mean-tested Schoolkids Bonus by targeting his home turf. “Mr Abbott’s got to get off Sydney’s north shore and go and talk to some real families and get himself in the real world,” she said. Later, in question time, she targeted him again: “It is only those who are cosseted on Sydney’s north shore that could fail to realise working families need relief.”
We’re all Australians. We’re all in it together. Depending on your postcode, of course.