Sadly, I left my phone in the car when we wound up at The Cove at Drummoyne for lunch today, because I wouldn’t believe it either: The joint has a lovely view, and is run by some lovely Italians, but I’m pretty sure their interpretation of some of the standards are not exactly D.O.C., if you know what I mean.
When was the last time you ordered a chicken parmigiana and got a schnitzel with no cheese or tomato sauce but a great whack of mayonnaise, avocado, cold caramelised onions, and a salad on top?
Prick With A Fork 
So what was your verdict on the schnitzel and sauce?
The Cove is close to where I live. When it first opened as a cafe some years ago (may or may not be the present owners), I dropped in to check it out with some copies of our street press lifestyle publication (which happens to have an Italian name), wondering if we could leave copies for patrons along with all the usual papers cafes have on hand… The owner glanced at it while we were chatting, and dropped it in the bin!
Gobsmacked by the rudeness, I left. I have never eaten there, or been back.
Had a feed there a few weeks ago – the grub was excellent, and the view is outstanding. Didn’t try the schnitzel though.
Hate that kind of menu, it’s all over the place. Still, you got pretty much what the menu describes: ” Parmesan chicken 17.50 $ “An open sandwich of parmesan & herb crusted chicken breast w roma tomato, avocado, a house aioli, sundried tomato pesto, selected mixed greens & micro herbs on toasted turkish bread.” Sounds like a mess to me — I avoid sundried tomato anything. What kind of Italian place has Tandoori Chicken, anyway? Hope that at least the coffee was OK.
Hah!
Once at a Carlton pub for my chicken parma order I got cheese on the schnitzel and the sauce, that was all right, but instead of the chips they gave me spiral pasta!
Maybe there was a lack of potatoes that night?
Dr Duck is exactly right, the confused menu should have been a tip-off. But because they’ve got a great view, they’ll never go out of business slinging coffees to cyclists and yummy mummies gaggling together to compare notes on who’s got the most brilliant toddler and crappest, most useless husband!
I went to Melbourne recently and had three epic food failures of restaurants who simply don’t know what the hell they were doing.
1. Fiesta on Toorak Road in South Yarra. Stock-standard Mexican. They should know how to make a quesadilla, right? Wrong. I was served a crisp tortilla, filled with chunks of chicken (big chunks, the size of walnuts), and a few desultory splatters of salsa. The cheese that gives the quesadilla its name was nowhere to be found. The server was baffled but took it back to the kitchen. It was returned to me, slightly reheated after a handful of shredded cheese had been sprinkled over it. I could still distinguish the silhouettes of the individual shreds. I left it mostly untouched.
2. A CBD cafe that I’ve forgotten the name of, served me what the menu described as a croque-monsieur, but which was actually a toasted ham and cheese. Croque-monsieurs have bechamel sauce in them. This didn’t. Still tasty though.
3. Finally and most grievously, Misty’s in Prahran, which describes itself as the bastion of American comfort food in Melbourne. Surely a genuine American would know that the masterpiece of soul food known as “chicken-fried steak” is a steak, right? Nope. They gave me chicken. And they simply could not understand why I was upset about it. IT WASN’T A FUCKING STEAK, THAT’S WHY.
Rant over. Sorry for bloodying up your comments section.
Truly appalling, Sasha, especially the chicken fried steak. One of my favourite dishes from back home I would have been furious …. So what was it, just a schnitzel with cream gravy? Ugh.
Firstly, The place is not run by Italians, nor is it an Italian restaurant… Why don’t you read menu’s to see whats on there and get facts right before posting shit about what appears to be a pretty good restaurant, Ive never had problems going there myself.
It said Parmesan Chicken – Not Chicken Parmigiana. Two totally different things.
You’re no italian expert, try going to McDonalds on Victoria rd, might be more authentic for you!
Ah but chicken parm is an Italian dish! Anyway, thanks for dropping by. Cheers!