Another guest post from the Three Little Pricks, who spent much of the day learning to make pasta – and doing a fine job of it, too! – down at Alexandria’s Salt Meats Cheese…
Today, my brothers Eli, Kip, and I did a pasta making class at Salts Meats Cheese, the best food store I know of in Sydney. The website for this awesome, incredible, gourmet, 5 star food place is here: http://www.saltmeatscheese.com.au/.
When we first arrived we were early so we had a look at some of their awesome products from around the world like escargot, massive duck fat cans, hot sauces, and giant pink salt blocks. Finally the magic began. We sat down and received our aprons and chef hats. We were introduced to the other kids taking the class as well as our instructors, Sarah and Manu, who gave us some pizza as a late breakfast. We were then taught how to make the pasta dough, with 100g of fine flour and 1 egg per serve. We kneaded the dough until smooth before leaving it for about 45 minutes to rest it a little.
To occupy ourselves for this time we went next door to the Grounds of Alexandria to pick some herbs for the pasta sauce that was being made in the kitchen and also looked at some chickens and a pig who was humorously named “Kevin Bacon”. When we got back we were taught how to use the pasta roller, a machine with a hand-crank that rolls dough into thin sheets. When the sheets were as thin as possible we could make them into shapes. We made farfalle “bow ties”, which are made by cutting out squares and pinching the centre, and garganelli (a hand rolled penne). We also rolled the pasta through the machine’s cutters to make angel hair, which is a little like spaghetti but thinner, and tagliatelle, which is a fatter version of spaghetti. When our dad arrived we were eating home made pasta with herbs we picked from the garden at this super cool long table … mmmmmmm. Those flavours were incredible. We each got to take home a container of our own dough so we could practise. Apparently the pasta machines we were using were only $90. Not much else to say apart from, this day was AWESOME!
A great time was had by all, and thankfully no one at the Grounds recognised them from their last visit. Now all we need is a junior sommelier class for the lads and perhaps a two-day sous-vide and sauces workshop and dinner parties will be a breeze at Stately Prick Manor.
Prick With A Fork 
Have you considered hiring out the kids to harassed mums holding dinner parties. You could charge them out at $30 per hour and pay them $10 per hour. I agree that you should consider a junior sommelier class for them. As an altar boy, I only had one choice of wine – Tolano. It was rougher than any Israeli wine I have ever tasted.
Trust me, I have two adult daughters and my advice is to sell the little pricks and save you and Mrs Prick lots of money; though you would miss the love and affection.
As WC Fields once said ‘Love kids (pause) hard boiled’.
Other great quotes about children from WC Fields:
“There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender”.
“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler. ”
“I like children. If they’re properly cooked.”
.
You monster!
Well spotted Nick.
Not having had sons, I could only scare my daughters.